Cocky funny online dating ten rules for dating my teenage daughter cast

Posted by / 17-Dec-2015 11:19

I'm very close with my family and value that aspect of my life very highly. The upshot is that I am much better looking in person, I am not afraid of commitment, and I can be a lot of fun. Extra side of bacon please, and a diet coke to drink, i'm watching my figure. Crap about the universe, quantum physics, and biology that would render a normal persons brain into...bacon grease. I work hard so I can buy myself awesome shit like a laser that lights shit on fire! Fuck dorks and nerds, a bunch of losers if you ask me, which you will because I am so damn interesting. That's the reason I have dipped my toes into online dating. My grandmother just picked the same one up yesterday." Bang!I believe in a higher power and have been raised a Christian. Essentially I am interested in friendship and fun, and if anything develops from there, then I don't necessarily object. (I actually got that for Christmas, but I was going to buy one) I also want one of those robots that cleans my carpet. I will trash talk your little brother on Xbox live into submission as I paint his face with a blue fuzzy grenade. If you are a high maintenance, duck face picture taking, can't hang with the guys kind of woman, or if you are a pirate hooker (Long story) Please step to the side to let the awesome chicks by. First date-We could start off with a stroll by the local landfill, make fun of the seagulls because there isn't a fucking ocean in Ohio! If you don't have balls..think you just might catch my attention, fucking message me already I am busy over here! My harshest critic is either myself or, possibly, my mother. I'll dub you Queen (Dairy Queen) of the castle (White Castle), but that's about it. Really - I am going to be studying (and living life) for awhile, so would prefer to meet someone who is in the same sort of situation, or with the same outlook. We'll go to the dump and throw rocks at rats (or hobos), then get drunk on tequila and knock over occupied porta-pots. Ok, I know you are dying to hear about me, so here goes. Especially bacon wrapped bacon deep fried in bacon grease.

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. So there you are: 20 incredible, indelible, articulate, and compelling reasons to contact ME. At last we have come to the goodnight kiss, which I have already stolen from you earlier in the date because lets be honest, goodnight kisses at the end of a date... I'm hazy on the to/not do profiles on this website etc.

I'm not for beginners, and if you are a beginner, I recommend gaining some entry-level experience with the illiterate knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers in my "Similar Users" box.

Just look at them sitting down there like a panel of socially inept misfits and desperate virgins -- I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of them wants you to join him on his webcam so he can show you his junk and gag himself with a poopy-trailed pair of undies.

After all, since I'm betting 50-to-1 that you are too timid, socially anxious, neurotic, and downright paranoid to get away from boring text on the computer screen and actually meet a flesh-and-blood person, your conversational skills had better be worth it.

And I should warn you that even if you stand your ground in the battle of wits, sweetness, you'll be completely confused whether you want to kiss me passionately or slap me silly. I'm smarter, more cunning, more challenging, and have more super powers than every woman on this site.

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Ideal, which is a handsome picture is supported by words that DHV and flip S & R switches (This guy is going to look after me, this guy is going to be there for me after the sex, etc) - The last part about convulsing sex would make me cringe if I was a woman. After all, since I'm betting 50-to-1 that you are too timid, socially anxious, neurotic, and downright paranoid to get away from boring text on the computer screen and actually meet a flesh-and-blood person, your conversational skills had better be worth it.