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Some of my online dating experiences gave me insight as to what makes a successful date.Here are some tips: Online Dating--Navigating Your Way For my first online date, I met Aanand (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) at one my favorite Thai restaurants in the New York City, Peep in Soho. It was a weeknight, so the restaurant was much quieter than normal.I want to maintain my culture, my religion, and my family traditions.These decisions led to my pursuit—find an Indian man.But, about a third of the time, the pictures that I saw looked very different than the person I met.Either the picture on the website was the BEST picture he had ever taken, or it was a picture taken many years ago, or it was just not them!Tip #2- Don’t let people tell you that looks don’t matter at all.They are definitely not at all the top criteria, but you need to feel some physical chemistry and that can’t be forced no matter how great the guy’s personality.
So I delved into more specialized sites and discovered how many Indian dating websites are out there--Indian Matches.com, Bharat Matrimony.com, Merapyar.com, and Shaadi.com, just to name a few. In just two days, I received about twenty emails with introductions from different prospects that included their profile information, sometimes pictures, and personal messages.
I have taken the “traditional” route before and let my parents introduce me to Indian boys. I always find places to eat, new music, and vacation destinations—why not try to meet people online too? But their profile systems did not include the “Indian” criteria I was looking for.
Most of the time, the guy was nothing like his parents described him and there was too much expectation around the initial “meeting.” Sometimes the parents were too involved, which put added pressure on an already awkward situation. And, I could meet him on my turf—no parents, no family expectations, and no pressure. They did not ask about all the different Indian languages, religions, and traditions.
So I had two not-so-positive experiences, but the glass is still half-full.
My most recent online dating experience with Kumar was excellent.
I chose one site and entered personal information in my profile which had drop down menus—where I am from, where I live, what languages I speak, and then a little blurb about me and what I am looking for in a in match. As a non-paying member of Indian (now, Indian Matrimonials.com), I did not have access to others’ contact information. I made a generic email that I sent out to everyone on the first point of contact, but usually I hand-wrote the last sentence based on his profile.